what's for me actually??.....did I make it on the list at all??

lost....

don't know anymore....

what's good?? what's bad??

envious?? appreciation??

greedy?? 

fate?? serendipity??

****

would i have any happiness in life??

any tiny share of it at all??

or i should just forget about having it??

something i'm not entitled to before....

at present nor in future....

hence nonexistent ever?? ha~ 

****

indeed a wanderlust wondering in the big big world...